Dear John, you were a complete disappointment.
That would my letter to John in its entirety.
Just warning you right now, I will be complaining in this blog post, so if you are a "people in africa have it worse than you, stop complaining" person, then stop reading now because this is my blog. not yours.
So I have been trying to write a new post for such a long time, because its been a month since my last one but I could not think of a topic!
I had a lot of good suggestions but nothing really sparked my interest until tonight. When the credits to the most disappointing movie ever, Dear John (for those of you who didn't get the pun at the beginning), began to roll.
At that moment I decided to be a movie critic for the amount of time that it takes me to write a blog post. oh I guess I should put a disclaimer about ruining the plot for those lucky enough to have never tortured yourself with this movie. So
WARNING THIS IS A SPOILER BLOG POST ( I learned the word spoiler while looking up everything HP)
ANYWAY. Throughout the whole 104 minutes of the movie I checked the back of the box to see how long it was multiple times and each time I was shocked that it didn't say eternity. I can honestly say that I felt as though I wasted my life watching that movie. Not even in the exaggerated, metaphorical way that people usually say. But seriously. I will never get those moments back, ever.
Okay so while I as watching, all I kept thinking was that John was going to die, and that dramatic ending would make the slow and boring plot worth my time.
but then: HE DIDNT EVEN DIE. his coin-obsessed, thats right COIN OBSESSED, father did.
The father, that literally said 5 words throughout the movie, none of which included something other than coins, dying was the most dramatic part of the whole entire movie. And it wasn't even sudden or surprising, like he looked like he was teetering on the edge of life for the entire movie.
They actually teased you in the movie because John gets shot a little more than half way through. But then he survives. I just kept thinking he was going to be killed and he never was. It was so anti-climatic..
Ohand they didn't even end up getting married or having a child or anything.
All he did was grow a goatee and ride his bike to a cafe, where he may or may not have been meeting the girl. I don't even remember the girls name.
anywayy if you take anything from this post, I hope it's that you never ever watch that movie. It's boring, and no one important croaks.
